The creative life is never an easy one, and everyday, you spent countless hours doubting, struggling, and in fear of your work being completely worthless and a waste of time. Everyday I write, and most of the time, I feel like my product is bland. It’s normal and usual, and will sit in the piles and piles of endless whites of paper, never separating itself. I fight this battle within everyday to just quit, to find a job, make money, and start imagining a life where what I want to do won’t be what I actually do. For every success story, you see hundreds, if not thousands, of failures, people trying to do reach their goals but falling short. I find reasons to stop, to step away, and to be “responsible”. This battle is excruciating and exhausting, and really brings out the worst in yourself.
I met with a fellow screenwriter a few weeks ago, and he stated something simple but yet important.
Our biggest hurdle and our toughest battle is the one with ourselves.
It takes persistence, patience, and exceptional motivation to pursue this. You wake up every morning with no job, no money, no security, and use that as motivation. I think about my current situation, and almost every time, they contribute into the conversation of why I should leave this path, struggling so hard for only four months. A year? Two years? Five? One can only imagine the upward trail that seems like it’ll never end. But that’s the beauty of life, or at least a creative life, to never see your accomplishments as the plateau or the peak, but to further push yourself into pursuing that climb and to never settle. No job, no money, and no security. Use it to make you better. Use it to make you work harder. Use it to get you where you want to be. These are the things I have to tell myself every single day to keep fighting on.